IT Happens

What is IT about; This rollercoaster we refer to as life? Instead of asking what is IT about why not ask what can IT be about. Hmm. Possibilities? A different consciousness all together, wouldn't you say? Asking what life is about makes one a witness; An observer of something already existing. You may enjoy IT's beauty. You may despise IT's horridness. IT may be art or absolute rubbish but that all depends on how you wish to observe IT. Asking yourself what IT can be about changes everything. You now can become the artist, the sculptor, the creator. There's no more having to succumb and make choices to exist and "get through". Now one may be involved and create ones own reality. Following a path, usually the one of least resistance, not only diverts one from experiencing wondrous events and opportunities but it leads one through already chartered territory. Someone else's glorious claims and discoveries. By creating ones own path, hacking through the thick wooded jungle and unchartered ground, one gets to discover and claim the treasures one may find along ITs way. If you're ready for the trek but feel a little ill equipped, contact an elder relative. Try Grandma. I heard she wears hiking boots not combat boots. Borrow them.

Ted's first Blog

CEO-Ted's first Blog, coming soon

Being angered about your personal circumstances

Being angered about your personal circumstances or, those of the world doesn't do much good without actions intended to bring about change. Actually, without doing something that leads to positive changes, anger brings only harm. This kind of complaining coupled with inaction doesn't make us smarter or more powerful. Although, it may feel as though it does. Then of course, this kind of smartness usually leads to more inaction and still less freedom. Action-less anger turns us into bellyaches. The world has always had its complainers. They have never added to the humanity's overall good.

To help you figure out what your true emotions might be behind why you're feeling so angry, here are 10 different reasons and emotions that could be happening:

To help you figure out what your true emotions might be behind why you're feeling so angry, here are 10 different reasons and emotions that could be happening:

1. Fear

Anger is often caused by fear. Something happens and it scares you in some way. You fear losing control, looking foolish, being in trouble, or maybe even getting hurt. But, your anger is in response to being afraid of something. It's that whole fight or flight concept happening. Anger is the fighting back at what scares you. So, ask yourself if you're really feeling afraid.

2. Powerlessness

There's a great quote which says, "Anger is a chosen response to the feeling of powerlessness. Anger is how we attempt to reassert control over situations that baffle us." So, you may be feeling helpless or like a victim with something and you use anger to try and regain some sort of control in your life.

Something to watch out for this one is that you could be feeling powerless in one situation and it will cause you to react with anger at anyone who upsets you. For example, say you have a health issue and you're feeling frustrated because you can't get in to see the specialist. So, you feel powerless in this situation, probably also a little scared and frustrated. That's the feeling percolating in the back of your mind and you need a way to release that so as soon as someone or something annoys you, all your pent up feelings are vented on that person. They may have absolutely nothing to do with why you're feeling powerless. But, they've become a handy way to release all those negative feelings you've bottled up.

So, if you find yourself over reacting to situations, check and see if you are feeling powerless in a different situation. Again, you're figuring out where your real anger is coming from.

3. Frustration

If you're feeling frustrated with something in your life, you might respond with anger. You're just so frustrated with something that you're annoyed and angry. For example when you're learning something new like a software program. You just want the program to do something and it's so frustrating because you don't know how to get the software to do that. So, you're feeling impatient and you respond by getting angry at the computer or the program.

Or if you're stuck in a traffic jam and you're frustrated because there's nothing you can do. This one can also be caused by fear though. You fear that you're going to be late due to the traffic jam and your imagination starts going wild with all the bad things that are now going to happen (eg. lose your job because you're going to be late or someone is going to be mad at you, etc.) But, the anger starts with feeling frustrated or powerless with the situation. You don't know what to do.

To deal with this one, it can help if you take a step back and just look at the big picture again. What do I want to achieve in this situation? How can I do that? rather than focusing on the obstacle or thing that's frustrating you.

4. Pain From The Past

Often anger is associated with pain from the past. A traumatic experience happened in the past that the person has never really dealt with. Abuse as a child for example or feeling abandoned as a child. In this case, often the anger isn't even associated with the current event the person is experiencing. The person is just so angry at the entire world due to something that happened a long time ago. They hit out at everyone they come into contact with due to the constant pain they have deep inside. Or they feel so hurt that they don't want to let anyone come close to them. They use the anger as a way of protecting themselves from further hurt. Or a situation happens and it reminds them of that event that happened a long time ago and they automatically react with anger.

5. Bad Habit

Sometimes anger comes because it's easier to blame others for problems rather than taking responsibility for your own life or you don't want to come up with a solution yourself. You're just used to reacting that way and it's become a very bad habit.

6. Feeling Overwhelmed or Exhausted

If you're overly exhausted all the time, you might be just too tired to mentally deal with situations that happen. You don't have the strength to have patience with the situation. This is one you often find with new parents but it can happen to anyone if they're overly tired.

Or you might just have too many things happening at once and it causes overwhelm for you. You're at the limit of what you can handle at the moment. It can feel scary and you might react with anger at the next event that pushes you over your threshold of what you can deal with.

7. Jealousy

You feel jealous about what someone else has or has done. It might remind you that you want that as well or it tells you that you're not following your own dreams. But, instead you get so angry at the person for having something you want when really you need to turn it around and start thinking "That's something I'd like to have in my life too. How do I start to work towards getting that for myself?"

8. Approval Seeking

If someone is looking for validation or approval from others, they might go to incredible lengths to please the other person and when the other person doesn't react the way they want them to, they feel hurt but they respond with anger as a way to deal with those feelings. They don't feel good enough inside or they feel like a failure so they try to get others to tell them how good they are. But, it doesn't work and they end up feeling angry at everyone because they've gone to so much effort and it wasn't appreciated.

The answer to this one is that you need to deal with those feelings of why you don't feel good enough and start to approve of yourself first. Once you approve of yourself, so will others.

9. Hurt

If you feel hurt by someone's actions, a part of you might not want to deal with that emotion so you choose to respond with anger instead.

10. Manipulation

Sometimes people use anger as a way to get others to react in a certain way. For example, they want the other person to do them a favor and if the other person hesitates they get mad so the other person will do what they want. Or they want to gain control over the other person and they know if they get angry the other person will back down. Or they want to make the other person afraid of them. Sometimes people even use it as a way to get out of doing things. Someone asks them to help them with something and they get mad at the other person not only to get out of the current situation but to discourage the other person from ever asking again.